You Are Not Alone: Who Am I


 

 I am a wife. I am a sinner saved by grace. I am a Christ-believer and follower. I am a baker. I am a cook. I am a housekeeper (when I’m in the mood). I am a mother. I am a grandmother. I am a crafter. I am a stitcher. I am a daughter. I am a big sister. I am a daughter-in-law. I am a sister-in-law. I am an aunt. I am a cousin. I am a niece. I am a granddaughter. I am a singer. I am a guitarist. I am an auto-harpist. I am a neighbor. I am a worker. I am a friend. I am an example. I am a survivor.

I am a writer.

Today could possibly be another apple-pie pudgy day. Not only do I have apples which need to be used, but I also am at a time of writing where my brain is thundering.

Definition of brain thunder:

Brain is the mass of gelatinous tissue (an organ) inside the skull which is created to think.

                       Thunder is the sound clouds make when a hole forms in them collapses into a booming sound.

There is nothing but loud noise going on in my brain right now. All kinds of junk rolling around in my head that I can’t make sense of it. I can’t read the words and sentences trying to connect into cohesive thoughts. What is a writer to do? Blah! That’s when I am moved to bake.

            The only thought right now is should I bake the usual apple-pie pudgies or bread? I do not eat the pudgies because I do not eat pie, because I do not like cooked fruit, because I am strange. My husband enjoys it, but can only eat so many before they go bad. Our children are grown and gone, so they do not help him eat the baked goods I produce. I do like bread, however, but do not eat my bread because it never tastes as good to me, as someone else’s bread. My husband enjoys it immensely, but, again, he can only eat so much of it before it goes bad. What is a baker to do?

            What am I searching for in all of this writing and baking? If it’s solace, I realized that when I retired from my teaching position. If it’s listening to God, I’m practicing that one because up until this past year I have always been a Martha trying to busy myself getting things done. Well, I could prove to you that I am no longer a Martha just by inviting you over to see our home! Yes, my list of 21 things to accomplish has not been accomplished yet. I’m so overwhelmed by everything right now and my brain thunder has taken over. I want so very badly to be a Mary, but how does she get anything done?

            For those of you who have no clue who I’m talking about, Martha and Mary, along with their brother, Lazarus, are friends of Jesus in the Bible. Luke 10 records this story where Jesus came to the home of a woman named Martha. Her sister Mary sat down at the feet of Jesus to listen to what He said.

Martha, on the other hand, was busy and distracted by preparations “that had to be made” (Luke, 2011). She was more worried about the daily hub-bub of the world when she should be more like Mary who chose to do the right thing. Jesus said, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41, 2011).

Do I choose what is best? Do I choose what I want? Do I choose what I need? What I need is what is best. Need. Needs. I only need Jesus. I have my own study every morning after I get up, brush my teeth, dress, take medicine, and, finally, fix ice water in my Yeti and pour a cup of coffee, in my Hope Writers mug, if it is prepared already. I spend at least two hours in Bible study, posting Scripture, prayer requests and prayers in My Story on Facebook and my journal and prayer journal. Since I don’t sleep much at night and don’t get up until around 10 a.m. most mornings, my morning is used beginning with Bible study. Prayer is a portion of that time, but am I spending enough time listening to my Father? Prayer is talking to Him and waiting, listening.

The largest portion of being a follower of Christ is waiting patiently and listening. In fact, Isaiah speaks of this in his book “he gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak…but those who hope (wait) in the Lord will renew their strength” (Isaiah 40:29, 2011). Wait on the Lord and He will send strength. I listened to a devotion by Rich Velodas, pastor and writer, that there is much to be learned by waiting on the Lord. In fact, he stated there probably is more learned through waiting than on the answer, itself. Perhaps Martha should have gone back and listened to the Scripture in Isaiah. Mary was so enamored with Jesus that she probably couldn’t stand the thought of not being at His feet as He taught. Am I enamored with Jesus? Where would I have been, dear Martha Me? I know where I used to be when we had studies, devotions, or fun with friends. Yes, I was in the kitchen finishing “stuff” in order to have everything on hand and ready for the company. I honestly thought that being a good hostess was the best thing to do, that this was my calling. Looking back, I should have said for everyone to bring a brown bag, a snack and drink if the needed something to eat or munch on while we devoted ourselves to prayer and Bible study. Wait, isn’t that being a poor hostess? What are your thoughts about this? What would you have done, what do you do now even in the midst of Covid-19, wearing a mask and distancing? We aren’t supposed to hold these types of gatherings right now, but what else should we be doing where we are except sitting at Jesus’ feet listening and waiting.


Jesus was blunt with Martha that she was not making appropriate priorities. I cannot find anything written about how she responded or if she responded. In my opinion, there is no good verbal response, except to say, “Yes, Jesus, you are right” and go sit at His feet and listen to him. Next time she should tell everyone to bring a sack lunch if they are going to be hungry. I’m not making fun of God’s Word; however, I am disturbed that I have been, and sometimes remain, a Martha. Yes, I accomplish things and stuff, but the problem is that what I accomplish is just that – “things” and “stuff.” Will these things make any difference in my getting into Heaven and will I stand before God accounting for all of the “things” and “stuff” I did that made no difference to the Kingdom of Heaven?

Many things and stuff to think about. Where will He find you? What are your thoughts? Whether you are male or female, are you a Mary or a Martha?

 

References

Luke 10:41, 42. L. (2011, February 2). The Holy Bible, NIV. Retrieved from You Version: https//: youversion.com/app

Isaiah 40:29, 31a. (2011, February 12). The Holy Bible, NIV. Retrieved from You Version:http://youversion.com/bibleapp

Luke, 1. (2011, February 2). The Holy Bible, NIV. Retrieved from You Version: https//: www.youversion.com/the-bible-app

 



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